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ArchivesJanuary 31, 2006 US in technical fault - in short, the government has run out of money but is still going - it's not theirs, anyway Army to investigate gay porn allegations. Rear admiral to inspect his privates. What's buried in that old Civil War cemetary? (They would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you snoopy kids and your dog US Army forces over 50,000 soldiers into extended duty. God bless America Baby found floating in bag in lake. Ma & Pa Kent will raise him like their own. From PhysicsWeb: scientists have created arrays of matter particles that are held together only by light. Dilithium crystals just around the corner, now First petabyte storage array built (that's 1,000,000 gigabytes, or a helluva lot of porn) January 30, 2006 It's official: FBI, Homeland Security keeping tabs on prominent political protestors - with pics Here's a video of the UFO crash video everyone's talking about (okay... no one's actually talkin about it, I just forgot all the details) Female Mexican serial killer captured. Rena Titanon holds on to title belt We're living more and more in a Robert Heinlein world: Russia plans moonbase ore mine Did Cingular really patent the emoticon? WTF LMFAO ROFL OMFG etc New Orleans could lose 80% of black population - [insert fried chicken and lowered crime rate jokes here] The last Top 10 list for 2005, we swear: the Top 10 Underreported News Stories of 2005 From Christianity Today: 5 Reasons Why Torture is Wrong Court says I.D. checks at airports constitutional - jury still out about stewardess body cavity searches Get your eBay clicker finger ready: 'lost' Adolph Hitler artwork to go on sale soon Is anybody surprised? To climatologist says Bush admin trying to censor his work Iran's Revolutionary Guard chief says attacks from U.S., Israel would be met with their big daddy missile Hey, hot chicks! Got a MySpace account? Want to appear in Playboy? Tired of getting your parents' respect but want lots of beer-drinking losers across America to stare at your private parts? Then you're in luck!!!! January 27, 2006 Pentagon study says armed forces stretched too thin to do much good; Rumsfeld in denial... again Business as usual: Senate says White House is hampering Katrina investigation, withholding documents Remember when ol' Brownie stayed on the FEMA payroll after he was fired, so he could, uh, 'advise'? Well, he fucked us again Students dis Torture Boy, profs say Patriot Act not needed US attack on Iran might be a really, really bad idea. Best line in the article: "Given the U.S. track record, however, there is always the risk that suspect facilities will turn out to be a watch factory, or, worse, a schoolhouse." Good on you, guys! BB&T Banks refuse to do business with companies grabbing private property under Eminent Domain law Google's massive cache ruled fair use - now let's just hope they don't turn it over to you-know-who Apparently the Patriot Act knows how to push librarians' buttons Alaskan voting officials refuse to turn over electronic voting records to Democrats Your government at work: sale of asthma inhalers may be banned soon. Wheelchairs & iron lungs are next, Goddammit Pentagon review document speaks of robots, better drone aircraft, more digitalization... but not much about bringing enough men to do the job. January 26, 2006
The United States government (the current one) is like a big, overgrown, retarded kid who wants to be a superhero. So he has his Mom make him a costume (including a towel pinned at his neck) and goes outside to locate Evil-Doers. He quickly finds another kid (much smaller and weaker than himself) throwing rocks at birds, and beats the living shit out of him. He then marches triumphantly back to his room, where he holds a victory parade – held beneath a hand-written Mission Accomplished banner – before an assembled host of action figures and plastic army men. But his friend the Jewish kid has told him about some bigger boys who are sneaking smokes behind old Mr. Kelsey’s barn; and so our hero starts making hints about his Grand New Scheme to beat the shit out of them, too… That is, of course, if he can keep from being grounded by Mom for breaking the vase in the living room and blaming it on Fluffy. Poor Fluffy! But, hey, somebody’s gotta take one for the team. Fluffy needs to keep his cat’s eyes on the bigger picture. Anyway, he knows these older kids are going to be harder to beat up; that’s why the Jewish kid keeps giving him words of encouragement, even if he is always hitting our hero up for a loan of his lunch money. To be continued… or is it??!!! Actor Christopher Penn, 43, found dead in his home. Mr. Blonde wanted for questioningRemember that old map that supposedly showed the Chinese were here before Columbus? Well... Judge orders release of Guantanamo detainee i.d.'s. Decision overturned in 5... 4... 3... 2... Despite giving the finger to US gov demands, Google bends right over to comply with Chinese gov's standards with new google.cn Is the White House really preparing themselves for impeachment proceedings? (Hint: they damn well should be) Moqtada al-Sadr pledges to come to aid of Iran if they are attacked. Don't worry - they'll greet us with cheers and flowers Papparazzi help Britney Spears with her car troubles. Todd volunteers to help her remove her panties (yes, despite the weight gain and chidbirth) NBC drops Book of Daniel from their schedule. Gee... I wonder why... Mexican troops and Texas cops face off. Pancho Villa off to ransack home of William Randolph Hearst, elude Pershing Grip and grin: White House refuses to release photos of Bush & Abramoff together Now cartoons will really suck: Disney buys Pixar in stock and cash deal January 25, 2006 Brownie, you're doin' a heck of a job... TO THE EXTREME!!!!! Government warned early of Katrina dangers Get this: Woman's insurance company bet she would be dead in the early 90's; she's still going strong - and they want to cut off her policy. Of course, this kind of crazy shit is probably true: Homeland Security can/will confiscate safe deposite boxes But, hey, it's not his job: Former NSA nat'l director apparently unfamiliar with the Fourth Amendment God's chosen people, my fuckin' ass: Radio transcript of Israeli soldiers taking aim, murdering children The most fun read you'll have all day: The Beast lists the 50 Most Loathsome People of 2005 truthout columnist wants Democrats to stand up and walk out on Bush during State of the Union address on Jan. 31 City of LA to pay Notorious BIG's family $1.1 Million. What kind of jackass cops withhold evidence? New indecency legislation expected - from XBiz. Ah, our government: determined to roll us back to medieval times Russia catches Britain spying & using fake rocks. Agents Bond and Blackadder return to London for questioning; Patsy & Edina move in to exploit cheap Russian labor force The good news: we're winning the war on local meth labs. The bad news: we've cleared the way for the much more potent, mafia-financed stuff coming in from Mexico. (Extra! Want some fun? Do a Google image search on 'meth mouth.') Defense contractors working to build super-ginormous blimp that can haul lots and lots of stuff. Al Qaeda makes plans to deploy long-distance pea shooters. From BET.Com: Global Warming could spell disaster for blacks. And also for every other living thing, idiots! Looks like them Duke boys are gonna make a run for the border... Virginia considers repealing ban on radar detectors January 24, 2006 President Bush denies knowing Jack Abramoff... which is what makes all those photos so delightfully embarrassing "Spouty! Nooooooooooooooooo!" Whale in Thames dies after rescue attempt Your Tax Dollars At Work, Part XVIII: Halliburton Cited in Iraq Contamination In the beginning was the Word; and the Word was... copyrighted. Click here for video clips of exploding UFO in southern California. From MSNBC.Com: A discussion of how the fates of the porn industry and the internet are intertwined, for good or ill. [God bless America.] Beautiful novel about an older gentlemen and a coquettish, winsome underage schoolgirl in danger of being pulled from library shelves. Outrageous, say we at the Todd Frye Experience. From our What's Good For The Goose Dept.: Group tries to evict 'emininet-domain'-approving judge US Navy stops, board pirate ship. Find doubloons, cutlasses, & coquettish, winsome cabin boy. Let's all support non-government-issued currency: all hail the Liberty coins! [We at the Todd Frye Experience will gladly purchase your Liberty coins for the generous sum of $5.00 each.] UK politician resigns over 'rent boy' scandal. If only we could get some of that over here. Scandal, I mean. January 23, 2006 We've caught the number-three man - unfortunately, he's #3 at the CIA, and he's in trouble for the usual crooked political shenanigans Another Pentagon bean-counter is found to be passing secrets to Israel. But it's okay, because of those seven Jew bankers that control the world Time to panic? Kuwait apparently only has half the oil reserves they say they do "You're bustin' my balls, Hans Brix!" 'Ball is in the U.S.'s court' regarding North Korean weapons talks "I'll just take my ball and go home, then." Iran starts moving assets out of Europe
Take a deeper look into the search engines' situation vis-a-vis government influence Judge rejects Maryland's anti-gay-marriage law 'We do not cut and run.' Except when it suits us: Iraq construction money about to run out, U.S. won't be putting any more back into the kitty Oh, sweet Jaysus, yes!!!!! Jennifer Love Hewitt might pose nude for Playboy! Man released from prison after 21 years for wrongful conviction; gets $100 a day for each day he's been incarcerated. His original prosecutors probably still making $100 an hour. Oh, boo hoo: Abramoff's daddy defends him from George Clooney's insults. Bribing government officials is apparently okay, but making fun of somebody's name? Shame on you, sir! January 21-22, 2006 Unnamed CIA official sez bin Laden's voice on tape is authentic. Agents now working to see if unnamed CIA official's voice is authentic. Can't keep track of bin Laden's threats without a score card? Well, here it is! Full text of the latest bin Laden tape - perfect for mashups, lulling a small child to sleep, or excerpting for your end-of-term paper Univ of California alumni group offers students $100 to out 'radical' instructors. (How much are your souls worth, faggots?) Remember how Google told the Bush admin to go fuck itself over users' data? Well, AOL, MSN, & Yahoo snivellingly complied Are Verizon and BellSouth trying to extort fees from big-bandwidth internet sites? Well, guess who told them to take a flying leap Here you go, pussy Christian momma's-boys: the 81(?) Best Conservative Movies No link between cancer and cel phone use. But, "Children still advised to use mobiles only when necessary"... yeah, right! Disney and Pixar to merge? In any case, Steve Jobs ain't doing too bad (still an asshole, though) Wicked Wilson Pickett Passes On At 64 Not to point the finger, but they'll probably do single-digit sentences: Wendy's finger-in-chili scammers express regret, get sentenced One more sign that we're a nation of pussies: Advocacy group, parents suing Nickelodeon & cereal companies France has nukes?!! Sacre bleu!! Chirac threatens terror-sponsoring states with atomic holocaust Old men, boys in short pants, cripples welcome - It's barrel-scrapin' time! Army raises enlistment age to 40 January 20, 2006 Ain't had no lovin' since my Osama bin gone - but don't worry, terror alert level remains at 'fuchsia' Six women held by coalition forces to be freed while American female is still held by insurgents... but hey, we don't negotiate with terrorists! Go, Google! You rock! Fed guvmint wants top search engine to turn over records; they reply, "Blow me!" Bush Admin wants to do away with Habeus Corpus all together GLORIA RESIGN - or, How they're having trouble in the Phillipines, too Democrat senators call on Bush to make Abramoff ties public A second study estimates the cost of the Iraq War as somewhere between $657 billion and $2 trillion George W.'s drunk driving arrest documents, from The Smoking Gun Why, Johnny Ray... WHY?!!!... Knoxville TN man arrested for peaking underneath women's bathroom stall FOX Television SUCKS: Arrested Development, Malcolm in the Middle, and That 70's Show cancelled; but hey, American Idol is still goin' strong! January 19, 2006 Three Ground Zero cleanup workers dead within the last several months Former child actor missing, feared dead Court nullifies ban on assisted suicide. I can think of some politicians I'd gladly assist. Oil headed back toward $70 a barrel. Dick Cheney's face seen to crack in what one aide refers to as a 'smile' Disney starts online subscription service aimed at preschoolers. "Brainwash 'em early," cackles hand-wringing executive Democracy, my tired ass! White House won't release details of Abramoff visits ACLU sues NSA - UFOs, CIA still A-OK Get this! British parliament members demand to see cost of a proposal before they vote on it! What do they think this is, a democracy?! Dammit, Jim, I'm a kidney stone, not a... British man who won lottery 3 years ago applies for free legal assistance... and gets it Your mall dollars at work: security guard refuses disabled men use of wheelchair out to parking lot, forcing them to crawl [Although one wonders how they got out of their car and into the mall in the first place]
South Park 'scientology' episode won't be shown in Britain over fears that Tom Cruise will Ex-astronaut calls space shuttle "the most dangerous manned spacecraft ever flown, by anybody," in new book January 18, 2006 Your Government at Work: Soldiers Injured Wearing Privately-Purchased Body Armor Can Lose SGLI Death Benefits When will Bud whip it out? - or, Baseball club owners still trying to get the public to pay for their big, expensive stadiums Charley Reese knocks another one out of the park And the scary, stupid war talk on Iran begins in 5... 4... 3... 2... Rhode Island medical marijuana law allows residents to have pot; but the loophole is... how are they gonna get it? A neat story from Wired.Com: Upper-class man moves to China & bootlegs thousands of DVDs Main judge in Hussein's trial quits - pressured for a pro-U.S. verdict? Millions of schoolchildren will never hear Martin Luthor King's famous 'I have a dream speech'... because the King family has it copyrighted Never mind Columbus & those pesky native Americans - the Chinese discovered the New World Here they are - the Top 10 Wackiest Conspiracy Theories. (KFC doesn't make black men impotent? Who knew!) Kentucky teachers aren't complete suckers: 'intelligent design' gets little class time January 16-17, 2006 "If we've lost Cronkite, we've lost middle America": most trusted newsman in the world says it's time to leave Iraq Shelley Winters passes on; here's a biography from imdb More proof that sports are for idiots: Oklahoma weatherman breaks into football games to tell about widespread wildfires and evacuations - and is fired for it NASA capsule hits the Earth with comet dust Just in case you want to send a card: Emir of Kuwait dies at 79 Bush authorized domestic spying before 9/11 - from Truthout Hey Mister - help the homeless? Former Mass. homeless shelter director makes off with $350,000 Presidential housepet and Attorney General Gonzalez to testify before Congress on domestic spying Did US Navy Seals film an unknown apelike creature in Africa? Your tax dollars at work: Married couple orders tax booklet, get wrong one instead - 24,000 copies of it January 14-15, 2006 Biggest news of the day: SciFi Channel to air new Dr. Who episodes Have your Netflix discs been missing in action? Surprise, surprise! Government spending hits new record Michigan man fells three courtroom officials with a handshake - also has heat vision & the ability to cloud men's minds Are the Indigo Children here to save the world? Or are they just a bunch of New Age brats who need a cheeseburger and a good slap? Early man hunted by birds - big, fuckin' mean birds, presumably AMERICABlog buys Gen. Wesley Clark's cel phone records for $89.95 - plans to publish camera photos of him with Paris Hilton Did you know Macauley Culkin is going to marry Mila Kunis? Lucky bastard Norway to build 'doomsday' vault to hold a collection of all of Earth's seeds - 'cause nobody's likely to nuke fuckin' Norway What's worse than getting carjacked by a white supremacist? Having his mom threaten you afterward Danes guilty of abusing Iraqi prisoners. Downgraded from 'great danes' to 'not-very-good-at-all danes' DA up for election runs on a no-nepotism platform... then, when she's elected - but you know where this is going, right? US Mint to change nickels. Slot machine grannies go into fits of hysteria. North Carolina cops had little black book... but it didn't hold phone numbers January 13, 2006 Time to pay the piper, motherfucker: Blair lobbies Bush hard over Rolls-Royce contract Not quite the suckers we thought they were: soldiers sue for reimbursement of out-of-pocket expenses Whatsamatter? Is the little baby gonna cry? Maybe she's upset at all the softballs lobbed at her husband by Republican senators Columbian city council might fine young men caught without a condom (with goofy-ass little pic) Hurricanes of 2005 'filled with mysterious lightning' C'mon, dude! Quitters never win! Trial ending for would-be Presidential assassin The only Democratic senator with a bucketful of balls wants an investigation into lack of body armor for troops Only attractive people allowed onto "South Beach" Author Hal Lindsey in catfight with Christian network TBN - (with pic of his big, Godly moustache) Parents' group in California sues over intelligent design: because their auras are all, like, purple right now, you know, man? Okay, so who's the last company you'd expect to have a rootkit buried in their software? Would you believe... the makers of the world's favorite anti-virus program? Pat Robertson: "Gosh, I'm really sorry, fellas... You know what a big, stupid mouth I have... Can I still build my big, cash-cow amusement park in your country?" Israel: "Get bent, God-boy." Been burning your own CDs & DVDs for a few years? Turns out they might not have a very long shelf life January 12, 2006 Who ordered the hit on David Rosenbaum? That money the IRS collects doesn't just fall into their hands: we pay an average 22% surcharge Bush to Democratic critics of his Iraq policy: "You're giving aid and comfort to our enemies." Me to Bush: Go fuck yourself, you lying piece of shit Christopher Hitchens: Did the President plan to take out Al-Jazeera? Mises.Org: The Bureaucrat in Your Shower - i.e., the government regulates how much water your toilet can flush. Real-life SIGNS alien in Mexico? (Hi, Kristy!) - via Rense.Com Ukraine parliament more honest, ballsier than American Congress - gets rid of PM's government over Russian gas dispute Check it out! The Garfield Randomizer mashes together bits of different Garfield cartoons... and it's funnier than the original (much, much funnier, sadly) It's a sad day when a ram-headed sex-god can't be seen on TV cavorting with bikini-wearing lovelies... (It actually looks like a horrible mashup of The Wicker Man and Caddyshack) Hey, $40,000 for doing nothing sounds fair to me - Payments to Delay's wife reasonable, says attorney Yeah, that's just like that 'mayonnaise' I found in the parking lot... that was the worst hotdog I ever ate! Man sues over prescription medications bought online Finally! Someone seems to have bred the ass of a rat with the body of a squirrel! January 11, 2006 Osama bin Laden MIGHT be dead. Or Michael Ledeen MIGHT not know what he's talking about. Sure, you can have my Ding-Dongs and my Cheetos and my fried cheese... when you pry 'em from my cold dead fingers "Enough excuses! Our leader MUST be impeached over Iraq!" Unfortunately, he's talking about Tony Blair Honey, did you drop those garbage bags off at Goodwill like I asked? Keywords: Marines recruting 8-year-olds. Hitler Youth. No Child Left Behind. God bless America! SUPREME COURT RULES 'NO' ON SECRET WIRETAPPING - trouble is, that's from 1972 Maybe they didn't think he was such a bigshot after all: US troops seize award-winning Iraqi journalist The movie was so good, she didn't want to go to bed: woman who died in '03 left in front of TV for 2 1/2 years The Center for Science in the Public Interest sues Frito-Lay over anal leakage - I mean, stomach cramps. Hands off my Fritos, bastards! January 10, 2006 A man who can't be bribed, won't be bribed: judge refuses to dismiss Enron charges Long, dry academic paper on the costs of the Iraq war here; short, sharp analysis here. Cross your fingers, everybody! Cheney taken to hospital, citing shortness of breath When Harry Belafonte calls you a terrorist, you may have to stop and think about things... Bush backing away from Delay publicly - privately, he still likes to roll around in huge piles of hundred-dollar bills Hey! It turns out he's not gay after all! Wanted: Arab-Americans and caucasian amputees. Must have own car. Norway corporations: put a woman on your board of directors... or else Tookie got fried, but now that there's a white man about to be executed... where's the outrage? Not that they're trying to rule the whole world or anything... US Aviation Admin creates space tourism rules January 8-9, 2006 Got a secret mistress or ring-tone addiction? Better start worrying, 'cause your cel phone record is for sale Check it out: The best UFO photos ever taken Finally! Medical doctors now recognize my super-soaker method of removing ear wax! Dick Cheney using cane in public. Let's all hope the sonofabitch falls apart completely within a few weeks Yeah... it's all his fault! What a bunch of shit. General blaming Sen. Murtha for hurting troop recruitment Al Qaeda bigwig al-Zawahiri releases video. Solo album due next month, with guest vocals by new #3 man Welcome to 1984, motherfuckers: IRS tracked taxpayers' political affiliations Well, it does make a kind of sense when you think about it. Author of Bush's Brain on national no-fly list Tennessee creates Meth Offender Registry - coming soon: People Pulled Over For Speeding Registry, Fat People Registry, Returned Videos to Blockbuster Late Registry, etc Your tax dollars at work: Pentagon could have supplied more body armor to Iraq troops, but didn't give a shit Hey, dude - wanna buy a brand-new Dodge Challenger? Newsflash: some Iron Age men used hair gel (imported from France, no less) Senators sneak into Senate conference room and anoint Alito's chair with oil - via Mike the Mad Biologist January 7, 2006 All about the National Security Agency, from Answers.Com Hey Sylvia, whatever happened to your agreeing to James Randi's challenge? The New World Odor - psychic fraud exposed Sneaky-snake! Bush makes appointments during Senate recess, thereby avoiding Senate approval Ah... but did he really want their advice, or was it a photo-op? Bush invites former top White House officials for Iraq advice. Hey, wait - if your every word and action is dictated by Gawd Hisself, why do you need advice from anybody> Pat Robertson opens his big, stupid mouth... again. Uh... actually, is it against the law to just ask somebody if they want to have sex? Tennessee pastor 'solicits' undercover cop Oh, I'm sure they wouldn't do that! Congress queries White House about reporter bugging Court rules on something the conspiracy theorists have said all along: the Federal Reserve is a private company We're with you, Art. Radio personality Art Bell's wife Romana dies suddenly at 47 Bush Admin Myths Vs. Realities... via TheLeftCoaster I'm a Chiquita banana and I'm here to say... I might be worth 20,000 freakin' dollars! In your face, girly-girls! High school boys' team beats US women's Olympic hockey team What would Jesus watch? Not this, apparently Or... would he? I guess it's 'Clap Off,' then - US intelligence agency head to quit after clash with Rumsfeld January 6, 2006 Give 'em hell, dude. Reporter defends his outing of spy program Proof the Bush Administration hates tall, slender female journalists: now they're spying on Christiane Amanpour. (Keep your eye on the Americablog home page for updates.) Operation They're Making Me Say All This Bullshit. Pentagon propaganda program orders soldiers to promote war while at home on leave What will they do there that they're not doing here? U.S. may move some Guantanamo detainees to Afghanistan This could lead to the most horrible mashup of all time. Barry Gibb buys Johnny Cash's home "That's not a sword in his trousers, Your Majesty." Tom Jones gets knighted. Not bad for a Welsh kid who used to sell vacuums door to door! Habeus corpus stirs momentarily, gets kicked back down - Padilla can be transferred to Miami, says Supreme Court JIMMY CRACK CORN - AND IIIIIII DDOOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAAAARRRRRRRE!!!!!!!... Veteran character actor Patrick Cranshaw dies at 86. "You're my boy, Blue!" Now the 'Snitch on your neighbours' programme has reached Englande Bush to return [part of] his dirty Abramof money... but Senator Jim DeMint (R - SC) says, "Screw that!" Homeland Security cash cow is still full of pork - via Slate So, can the FBI see me touching myself at night? Army gets new hi-tech device that can see through concrete walls Check out this cool prehistoric cave art - deep beneath the sea. Say goodbye to analog TV in 2009 - via CNNMoney. Who edited this thing? January 5, 2006 And I for one welcome our new Mandarin-speaking overlords. Kansas-city area schools teaching students Chinese Trapped miners' families gain hope, then lose it suddenly... Sole surviving miner responds to wife Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Israeli PM Sharon suffers stroke 2005 hottest year on record, set to appear in Maxim photo shoot God bless this Christian nation of ours! Couples rush to set up 6/6/6 wedding date Dover (PA) rescinds stand on intelligent design... refuse to back down on tooth fairy, Loch Ness monster, and Darth Vader Fed finished fucking with interest rates... for now Are they also counting the times when we were bombing the shit out of everything over there? Iraq oil exports hit postwar low And on a related note... White House withdrawing funding for building Iraq Is Google going to sell cheap PCs through Wal-Mart? The latest word is no. Ask yourself if you... have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials; have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child. That's because teachers get no respect in this country. NEA union gives million to liberal interest groups; most of its employees make six figures More schoolgirl and tentacle porn than you can shake a wakizashi at - Big comic book convention kicks off in Tokyo January 4, 2006 West Virginia miners still trapped; drillers punch through nearby "She's bloody disgusting - let's send her back anyway." Check it out! Here's the Patterson Bigfoot film cleaned up (animated gif) to keep the creature in mid-frame. Also see this. (From our 'Old, but Oh, Still So Relevant Department') No President is Above the Law, by Sen. Robert Byrd I love you. Will you be my friend? Okay, Time to die! Got just a minute? Here's the Year In Review. I Am A Drunk Driver, and I enjoy water skiing and Japanese schoolgirl porn, and my pet peeves include brussel sprouts and mean people! New Tennessee law attempts to shame drunk drivers Pop some popcorn, turn off the ringer, sit back and enjoy the show - Priest ordered to prove existence of Jesus in court No, dude, when she said she wanted your bone, she meant... ah, never mind. DNA-crafted jewelry new stupid fad They're not sorry they did it, they're just sorry they got caught - politicians sending back Abramoff donations January 3, 2006 Tom Delay is a piece of shit - winding down the ol' Delay-Abramoff money trail 100 pieces of interesting shit - stuff we didn't know this time last year, via BBC Online Now they're in deep shit! Russia cuts off gas supplies to Ukraine Holy shit! U.S. preparing to strike Iran, claims German news media No shit! 'Image problems' hamper American goals overseas Who says crooks don't take care of each other? Chalabi takes over Iraq oil ministry The power of blogs! Ex-UK envoy publishing blocked sensitive documents on his website. Check it out HERE. Bono's altruistic campaigns straining relationship with bandmembers. (Personally, I'm just sick of looking at him in those goofy sunglasses.) When Autodialing Goes Horribly Wrong - Thousands of Ohio crime victimes told inmates due to be released Is Radio Frequency Identification a tool of the Antichrist? (No, I didn't make that up.) At this rate, the Bush Admin will alienate everybody on the planet before too long. U.S. "short on spies", via CNN.Com Check out this cool photo of the Space Shuttle going thru a sonic boom December 31, 2005
Damn right, they should be looking into this - oh, wait. They're investigating what, now?
No, no, kid... you're going in the wrong fuckin' direction. 16-year-old goes to Iraq all by himself Dang it! Now how are we gonna pay for all those bribes - I mean, all that reconstruction? Death threats force stoppage of oil flow Big deal - they also believe in psychic healing & fuckin' Noah's Ark - 'Many Americans Still Believe Hussein Had Links to Al Qaeda' The Best UFO Photographs of 2005 via the UFO Casebook Yeah, hamburger meat and Chinese food do this to me all the time. 'Stomach bug mutates into medical mystery' Check out the ACLU's new advertisement... Top 15 Mugshots of the Year via The Smoking Gun Hell yeah! Let the porn continue! Judge blocks '2257' rules "We just wanted to buy wine at Kroger's, man." Citizens duped into signing anti-gay petition The Biggest Discoveries of 2005 via Wired News I'm sure they're all tricked out and stuff, but... a hundred grand? Marines paying $100,000 each for jeeps that the Dominican Republic paid $33,000 apiece for four years ago December 30, 2005 Up yours, crewcut! Storekeeper angers nearby recruiting office with poster showing Iraq casualty figures Dozens gather to celebrate 25th anniversary of the 'Suffolk lights' And now a word from the skeptical side: 'Why I believe UFOs are bunk' - BBC online science editor Four dead, ~100 homes destroyed by fires in Oklahoma, Texas Personally, I'd just like to see him locked away for that fucking annoying stadium-crowd song. Gary Glitter pays witnesses, gets molestation charges dropped All right, Granny, get out! Manassas, Va., changes definition of 'family' over housing ordinances Remember the earlier story about the NSA tracking people visiting their webpage? Well, check this shit out. (Of course, this was the policy put forward while Clinton was in office...) U.S. Stalls on Human Trafficking "The pursuit of terrorism does not authorize the president to make up new laws" - from Barron's Online (those liberal bastards!) Yeah, and whatever happened to that Habeus Corpus thing? Padilla's lawyers ask for 'review of powers Kiss freedom of speech goodbye at the football stadium, too. Buffalo fans not allowed to dis team Hey, I'll bet they've got WMD's, too. Huge new oil discovery in Brazil. The Top Ten Japanese Things We Hope To Never See [in America] But Probably Will - from Nozomi Online. See the Zapruder film here without all of the bouncing around. WARNING: Graphic violence showing President Kennedy getting shot. Might be disturbing for some folks. 'Coalition of the Willing,' my ass. Poland to pull 40% of its Iraq force Good - now I can get my daily dose of ultraviolent tentacle porn. Manga coming to U.S. comic strip pages December 28-29, 2005
Happy birthday Stan Lee!!!!!!Caught lying again. (Yawn.) US ambassador to Britain having a hard time lately.And I say it's about damned time. The word 'impeachment' is starting to be whispered around the [once-]hallowed halls of Washington Ah, another secrecy-obsessed government agency investigating themselves. Wonder if their probe will find any wrongdoing? "I'm not touching you... I'm not touching you... " Culver City school adopts 'no-touching' policy between students This news gives me a headache. Liver failure tied to popular pain reliever Aw, and he was doing so well, too. (from our 'Burn in hell, motherfucker' collection) Chalabi fails to get enough votes to sit on Iraq national assembly Prof. Juan Cole's Top Ten Myths About Iraq in 2005 It's here, everyone! It's here! Time to make the donuts no more. Actor Michael Vale of Dunkin' Donuts commercials passes on at 83 Maybe he just really, really hates 1941 Mastermind of 1972 Munich Olympics spurns Spielberg's entreaties And who can blame him? Houston mayor wants some o' dat FEMA money due to Katrina evacuee-related jump in crime rate Who was driving the getaway car - Rollie Fingers? Former MLB pitcher Jeff Reardon arrested after [allegedly] robbing jewelry store Heh... um, about that 'NSA Cryptokids' website we sent you to yesterday... They've put a cookie on your computer. Well, at least it's not a gay cowboy eating pudding. Philip Seymour Hoffman in talks to be Penguin in next Batman film Why not? She and King George have about the same I.Q. White House to aid Anna Nicole Smith in court battle. Okay, but those elves and orcs can fuck off. Ancient Egyptians 'respected dwarfs' Hey boys and girls! Why not visit the CIA homepage for kids? Or maybe check out the NSA's Cryptokids? It's fun, haha! Yay!! And there was a great disturbance on the Net... as if 18,000 geeks and bots were suddenly silenced... 18,000 World of Warcraft players banished in last three months C'mon, this is a joke, right? It's gotta be a gag, heh... FOR GOD'S SAKE TELL ME THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!! Possible coffee shortage in 2007-2008 He will be buried in a cave in Afghanistan. Designer of 'the mother of all bombs' is hurled into the unknown December 27, 2005 Buckaroo Banzai's nemesis succumbs. Actor Vincent Schiavelli dies at 57 Now we come to the airing of grievances! It's not too late to celebrate Festivus! If we sent Carrot Top to entertain the insurgents, this war could be over in a week! Top US entertainers shun requests to entertain the troops U.S. Army 'pain ray' headed for Iraq! (With photo goodness!) Is the guvamint snooping on your email? Takes these steps to find out! [keywords: Al Qaeda, bomb, assassinate, terrorist, etc.] And the big ol' housing bubble bursts... now! Sales of single-family homes fall 11.3% Kegger at Wolfgang's house! Austria to honor 250th birthday of Mozart It's just being transferred from one crook to another, anyway. Inmates robbing the IRS blind. "I am that I am." Man legally changes his name to Jesus Christ. They might get up to 2 a year! Russian corporation Energia to double manufacturing output of spacecraft. If an FBI agent wants to track me going to the fried-chicken place every day at lunchtime, be my frickin' guest. DOT funding ways to track citizens wherever they drive Maybe they just like rolling around in it. What's the Fed up to with the money supply? But can we keep the edible underwear? UCLA hospital turns away adult-industry donations Court of Appeals to Bush Admin: Bite me. "The decision, written by Judge J. Michael Luttig, questioned why the administration used one set of facts before the court for 3 1/2 years to justify holding Padilla without charges but used another set to convince a grand jury in Florida to indict him last month." Kiss your freedoms goodbye, Britons. Every journey in every automobile to be recorded by British gov't Bigfoot on video? (Download small .mov file) Verizon to Maryland town: Suck it! I wonder if they do gift baskets... Adult-toy store wins Business of the Year award in Orange Count, NC Back to The Todd Frye Experience |